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Night of the Dawn of the Day of the Diary of the…Oh fuck it!…The Remake

The Hollywood Reporter confirms that Richard Rubenstein ("Dune") is planning to produce "Dawn of the Dead 2," and all I can say about that is, "Huh?!" What makes this story fascinating is that this is not going to be a sequel to the 2004 remake of "Dawn of the Dead," but rather to the 1978 original. Now, call me crazy, but isn’t that going to confuse the hell out of today’s movie-going public? And, wait a minute, wasn’t there already a sequel to "Dawn of the Dead" released back in 1985 called "Day of the Dead?" So, then how exactly can we now have "Dawn of the Dead 2?"

A few years ago saw the release of "Land of the Dead," which was the sequel to "Day of the Dead," which had a direct-to-DVD sequel in 2005 entitled, wait for it… "Day of the Dead 2." 2005? That’s the same year "Land of the Dead" came out! So, which film is the true sequel? I remember the fun I had driving to the theater with my friend Bryan to see "Land of the Dead" and trying to explain to him that what we were seeing was not in fact the sequel to the 2004 "Dawn of the Dead," but rather to 1985’s "Day of the Dead," which was in turn the sequel to the 1978 "Dawn of the Dead." Now, I don’t know what to believe.

To make matters even more stupidly complicated, word has it that "Dawn of the Dead 2" is set to star Tony Todd ("Candyman") who was also the star of Tom Savini’s 1990 remake of the film that started this entire undead clusterfuck back in 1968, "Night of the Living Dead," which is not to be confused with 2006’s "Night of the Living Dead 3D." However, in "Dawn of the Dead 2" Tony Todd will not be playing the same character he played in 1990’s "Night of the Living Dead," having been zombified and shot in the head at the close of that film.

Got that? Oh, it gets better.

Now, in spite of the fact that "Night of the Living Dead" was remade, the 2004 remake of its sequel, "Dawn of the Dead," was not created as the first remake’s follow-up, but rather as a standalone film. In 2008, the third film in the series, "Day of the Dead," was also remade as a separate movie, having no connection to the two remakes that came before it. However, both the remakes of "Dawn" and "Day" have actor Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction) in a starring role, albeit playing completely different characters in each film. Once again I’m left saying, "Huh?!"

In 2007, the mastermind who started this mess, George A. Romero, released his fifth film in his "Dead" franchise entitled "Diary of the Dead," which is technically "Night of the Living Dead Part 5." "Diary of the Dead" was released between 2005’s "Day of the Dead" sequel and 2008’s "Day of the Dead" remake, and is a prequel to the original "Dawn of the Dead," taking place during the same timeframe as "Night of the Living Dead." The original, not the remake. However, "Diary of the Dead" was meant to revamp the franchise and was set in 2008 rather than in 1968 when the series began. So, a film that’s supposed to happen at the same time as another film that takes place in 1968 takes place forty years later in 2008? Absolutely fascinating. I knew they didn’t have digital camcorders back in ‘68. I just knew it!

George Romero has now announced that he’s making "Diary of the Dead 2." Wait just a damn minute! How can the sixth film in a franchise be called part 2? If you include spin-off sequels it’s the 8th movie in the original "Dead" series, remakes excluded. So, more accurately it should be called "Night of the Living Dead Part 8: Dawn of the Dead Part 7: Day of the Dead Part 5: Land of the Dead Part 3: Diary of the Dead Part 2!"

Sigh… Oh, well… I guess I’ll just go watch "Return of the Living Dead" instead, which was created as an homage to 1968’s "Night of the Living Dead," which was later remade in 1990, then again in 2006 but this time as a 3D version that came out two years after 2004’s remake of "Dawn of the Dead," and one year before "Diary of the Dead," which was the prequel to the remake of the sequel of…. OH FUCK IT!

Tags: Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, George Romero, Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead