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Un guide à la Survie de Zombie par la Funk: A Preface

Zombies are attacking, the civil world is collapsing all around you and you have to make some important decisions, so what do you do? Zombie survival is not a clear-cut science as there are many intangible factors that can only be discussed, debated, and pondered. Nothing is set in stone. It may not be airborne; it may not be transferred by saliva-to-blood or blood-to-blood. Hell, it may even never occur… okay, that last one was a lie because the only scientific fact in the area of zombies is that an infestation will occur at some point.

The point that I am trying to get across is that the guides you will see pop up in the near future by your’s truly is the subjective approach of a twenty-five (twenty-six in July) year old Dungeon-&-Dragons-campaigning-Magic: The Gathering-card-flopping-video-game-playing-life-time-camping-Man vs. Wild/Survivor Man/Alaska Experiment-watching-pensive-over-analyzing Eagle Scout with some influence from conversations with friends he trusts in such events. By this descriptor, you may have already dismissed me as a “zombie survival hack.” More power to you if you already have a plan and that is the case, but please feel free to offer an apology when my colony picks you up or to accept my apologies when my colony comes to you professing the mishaps of my strategy.

As you read my guide and my opinions on certain things I present please keep in mind that my philosophy, regardless of the age I am when zombies arrive, is to be in it for the long haul. I am sure that there will be some survivors out there that are only in it for their own survival and to the same extent probably some elderly folks who just want to live out their days with no care of thinking past then. When I pass, I want the colony I am in to thrive and hopefully be part of the eradication of the problem. This is my legacy… (As lame as it was that sounded like it was the Hollywood movie thing to say).

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Tags: Guides, Survival