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The Zomblog: “That Guy”
It all started around this past Tuesday. I was slightly congested, but that was rather normal considering that the weather had gone from sunny and warm to raining and back to the mid-90’s in three days. So my sinuses were not too keen on this weather pattern…big deal right? WRONG!
Tuesday…about 3am…I wake up to find that my sinuses are draining and that I have a sore throat. Okay, no problem, for once again the weather HAS been odd. Then Wednesday comes and the minor sore throat and congestion is now accompanied by a slight cough. You know where this is going… Thursday comes, the cough is stronger, and I have to leave work early because I don’t want anyone catching what I have and then the night comes. Major headache, my sinuses are killing me, and all the preexisting symptoms remain. I treat the symptoms by popping two Tylenol Cold Nighttime pills and manage to fall asleep, but around 4am I am wide awake, headache full bore, and I fight to get another four hours in before I awake again. This time I call out from work…
Things have gotten surprisingly better in a day when you realize that last night was the 4am headache, this morning I was feeling like complete ass, and now I am virtually symptom-free, but the events still got me thinking…what’s it like to be “that guy?”
You know who I’m talking about… The doctor that gets infected in the lab when everything goes wrong and somehow makes it out of lockdown. The soldier who brings down the world because he wants to see his family before he dies and makes it past that barbed wire fence. That average Joe who contracts the first virus, be it from monkey, parasite coming our of cryogenic stasis, or what have you. What if you were “that guy?”
I know most of us, and by that I mean me, take our health for granted. I rarely get sick and though I can be a wee bit of a hypochondriac (which health magazines assure me is natural), I generally take illness lightly. My symptoms this past week (headache, congestion, sore throat, etc.) could easily fit the mold of common cold, but someday, yes, someday I may think common cold and suddenly, BAM!, viral meningitis and I never wake up again.
I digress, but only slightly, for I believe this will be the path of “that guy.” He is gonna get it one way or another and he is probably not gonna realize it. He will feel slightly ill and still go about his daily tasks and errands unwittingly bringing down the world with him. Our only hope is that he feels it more than we do because you are going to die the same way he does, but this man becomes a legend and you become a civilian casualty. Welcome to life you wandering generality you!
Now, if you knew that you were “that guy” and it is already past the point of quarantining yourself in a room, how do you feel about that? Do you take pride in the fact that you are a part of something that will forever be mentioned in history (so long as someone is there to record it) or do you go wallow in self-pity because your girlfriend is not as hot as she was before your zombie friends snacked on her?
I, personally, am undecided as to how much I’d enjoy or hate that sort of infamy. I do not purposefully try to hurt people, but this is some epic stuff down and I’m going to die so I might as well take come pride in my own personal genocide of the human race no?
Tags: Discussion
2 comments for “The Zomblog: “That Guy””
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Honestly, I’d be giving myself high fives if I knew.
But then, I’m a bitter misanthrope.
As a chef… I’m always that guy. It’s an on going battle to see who never calls in sick. Me and fellow chefs have been at Death’s door and showed up for work. I think it’ll be testosterone that will bring down the world.