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The Zomblog: Spatial Awareness

Yeah…today we’re gonna talk about a subject that I think leads to the majority of new zombie cases. Normally I would follow up that last sentence with a colon and the subject, but in case you lack it what we are going to talk about it is up in the subject line. (Good job Captain Observo, Defender of the Obvious.)

Some might consider spatial awareness to be instinctual and others might consider it to be a tool of the paranoid. I don’t really give a crap what your reasoning is behind it so much as the benefits it actually has for a person. Take my girlfriend for instance. She seems to be particularly lacking in this department because I can be at her apartment the whole day and she could go into the bathroom. If I then go into her kitchen which lies across the hall from her bathroom and she exits said water closet she gets surprised by my presence. “You scared the crap out of me” literally comes up about 1 out of every 3 visits. Spatial awareness.

You might be able to make an argument for her not knowing that I moved from the living to the kitchen, but if I (or most people I know) exit the bathroom and see someone who was in my place prior to using said water closet I am certainly not startled by it. Let’s tie it all in shall we?

Okay…scenario…get ready for it because it’s about to go down:

There’s been a massive zombie pandemic in the world and all organization has fallen into chaos. One night you run out of Funyuns and Mountain Dew during your weekly Dungeons & Dragons game (3.5 of course and yeah, you’d still be playing because people need an escape). Nightblade suggests you go down to the local Super K-Mart to replenish your stock. Now, when you walk in are you gonna be surprised if you look down an aisle and see a zombie? No…spatial awareness.

Scenario 2:

Zombie outbreak happens. You haven’t seen your neighbors in days, but their care is still in their driveway. You decide to check things out at their place…are you surprised to find them as zombies? No. Spatial awareness.

It’s not even the logical situations mentioned above. It goes way beyond that. Do you know where every exit is for when the zombie siege occurs? Are your routes planned out and do you now what’s in the way? It’s all spatial awareness. There’s an alley right there that some super zombie could jump out of so better have your shotgun ready.

Yeah, I honestly believe that most victims in zombies lack the above and ultimately you’ll be zed-head food if you don’t pick up on this as well. Peace out…and what’s in my closet? >.>

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Tags: spatial awareness, what's that behind you?, Zomblog