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The Zomblog: The Many Uses of the Word Zombie

Ok, so here is a little thing I thought would be kind of amusing if not funny, so let’s roll with it:

Perhaps one of the most interesting words
in the English language today, is the word ZOMBIE.
Out of all of the English words which begin with the letter Z, ZOMBIE is the only word referred to as the “Z” word, it’s the one magical word.
ZOMBIE as most words in the English language,
is derived from German,
the word “ZOMBIE”, which means “to zombie.”
In English, ZOMBIE falls into many grammatical categories.

As a transitive verb, for instance.
John ZOMBIE-ed Shirley.
As an intransitive verb, Shirley ZOMBIES.
It’s meaning’s not always sexual;
it can be used as an adjective, such as
John’s doing all the ZOMBIE-ing work.
As part of an adverb,
Shirley talks too ZOMBIE-ing much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective,
Shirley is ZOMBIE-ing beautiful.
As a noun, I don’t give a ZOMBIE.
As part of a word abso-ZOMBIE-lutely,
or in-ZOMBIE-credible.
And, as almost every word in the sentence,
ZOMBIE the ZOMBIE-ing ZOMBIES.

As you must realize,
there aren’t too many words
with the versatility of ZOMBIE.
As in these examples describing situations
such as fraud,
I got ZOMBIE-ed at the used car lot.
Dismay, Aw ZOMBIE it.
Trouble, I guess I’m really ZOMBIE-ed now.
Aggression, Don’t ZOMBIE with me buddy.
Difficulty, I don’t understand this ZOMBIE-ing question.
Inquiry, Who the ZOMBIE was that?
Dissatisfaction, I don’t like what the ZOMBIE is going on here.
Incompetence, He’s a ZOMBIE-off.
Dismissal, Why don’t you go outside and play hide-and-go-ZOMBIE yourself?

I’m sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multi-purpose applications,
how can anyone be offended when you use the word?
We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly, and proudly!
ZOMBIE you!

Yes…it wasn’t as funny as the original, but just wait until I change “Sit on my Face” by Monty Python to “Bite my face.” ^_^

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Tags: comedy, George Carlin, Monty Python, The Zomblog